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It's a rainy Beltane.  It smells glorious outside.  I have a baby napping in my lap, the front door is open to let the fresh air in, and I feel a little pulled out of time right now.

I've noticed it growing over the last few weeks.  Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm back living at home where I grew up.  I think that part of it is that now that it's finally raining here, I am getting all those smells that remind me of growing up on the island.  Part of it also is that this is the first time that I have been purposely jobless since I was 18.  It's a new and old reality for me.

Not that I don't love being a SAHM, I really do.  There are so many things that I haven't had time to do in years.  I can cook proper meals without the feeling of being rushed.  I am planning to go back to sewing my own clothes (after a trip to the fabric store to pick up a few essentials), I am back relearning all my old Craft techniques, I have an outside garden/yard for the first time since I left home ... DW says he finally feels like a grown up being in our own house after so many apartments.  I feel a little like I'm taking care of the house waiting for my mom to come home.

There are still a few Beltane-y things that I want to get done today - get my seed paper started, get my apple trees into separate pots before they strangle each other, get my little mini maypole made, get the house cleansing ingredients together for this afternoon, etc.  First though, I'm going to take this quiet moment as an opportunity to meditate.  Then maybe a tarot spread.  I have a feeling there is something that I need to see.

So, we are finally starting to sort ourselves out at the new house, and our month of utility deposits and poverty is nearly at an end (payday is just 2 days away!!!). In that time, we've had a lot more time for things like cooking and getting our movie server all set up (especially because we lost the remote for the DVD player and it can't be used until it set up again, which requires the remote). And now our beloved server Tuna can host websites in addition to all its other nifty tricks.

This has me inspired to spend a little time working on my photos and getting a new version of my own website going. Now that I have a decent kitchen, I can start making my Sabbat Celebrations section pretty - crafts and recipes are alway better when there are photos of what you should get at the end.

I think I will start with the Equinox. I was supposed to have a housewarming party then, anyway (though, who knows if that will actually happen).

Gotta run back to work now.  More later.

Yay!

-PT

Holidays are difficult when you are on your own.  Sabbats are often the time I wish that I had a coven to share my celebrations with.  Or even a big family. 

My family is small, and we all work full time.  There are no kids, so we seem to just get together when we can.  It tends to leave a hole.  Not just at the Sabbats, but on secular holidays as well.

And being sick doesn't help things either.  I feel like I am being lazy by sleeping and only working on things that don't require me to move from the couch.  Though, one of the reasons I hate being sick in the first place is that it makes me feel like I am incredibly lazy and missing out on other things I could be doing.

It occurs to me now that this might be part of the reason that I end up sick so often.

But, I digress.  This post isn't a pity party.  For some reason, my mind just won't let me be in a bad mood for too long (this has issues all its own), and the general feeling of a cloudy, cool, barely well Beltane weekend has inspired me.  I have this little voice that says, 'Well, if you don't like it, fix it.'

So, I'm going to.  Today, while I wait for WD to wake up and take me out to do my errands, I am going to spend my time switching between cleaning, and writing out list of Beltane celebrations, poems, crafts, foods, etc for my BOS.  I figure if I am going to save up for one of those big, fancy tomes, then I'd best have some good stuff to put in it.

--Phae

It was beautiful out today when I left for work. Sunny with just a bit of cloud and a nice cool breeze. Apparently, the weather faeries took it upon themselves to use this gorgeous day to listen to my complaints about the day before which had been unbearably hot and muggy as all hell.

I come out tonight, and it is cold and it is raining. Not a nice summer drizzle, no, this is Lake Cowichan Rain. We call it that because it doesn't rain anywhere like it does in Lake Cowichan (the town I grew up in). There, it rains so hard, that you actually have to turn your windshield wipers off in order to be able to see out of the window at all. It rains so hard that a trip to the end of the driveway and back gets you soaked down to your underthings. Not a word of exaggeration. I grew up in a valley in a rain forest. I know rain. When you cannot see in front of you because it is raining so hard, THAT is rain.

Strangely enough, there wasn't a lot of flooding. I guess our village was built in a good spot, only the houses on the river bank had to worry about flooding, but I digress.

Tonight's rain would ease off, and there were times when it outright stopped. Then it would start again, and the sky would open up and just pour! I comfort myself with a warm coffee and the knowledge that it is good for the trees. But damn! I wasn't ready for this walking home wearing capris and a tank top with no jacket!

The weather faeries are trying my patience They had better let it be nice on Sunday or else!

--Phae