May 2017

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 So I spent the morning lurking on FB. Curiosity mostly, but also because I wanted to see if anything awful had happened south of the border yet this week.

It took all morning because the moment I opened feed I fell face first into a big pit of drama. From the venom of the childfree to abusers within the pagan community to a specific childish idiot flinging shit because he's bored again, it sucked away two hours of my life. I said nothing, but it did remind me just how much emotional energy is required to deal with the sorts of people who troll the internet begging for attention. It's similar to realizing just how many hours are in the day when you turn the tv off. 

I'm torn. I do miss my friends, but I don't miss the internet. I prefer to spend my days ​reading and wandering around in the sunshine to drowning in the neverending pit of social greed that is FB. Maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe I am rotten for caring more about my local life/community than bigger social issues. Maybe I'm just burned out. Still.

But I don't want to go back. Having finally made the leap of leaving my personal FB behind in favor of one where I can post my own thoughts without consequence, it seems easier to take that final step and walk away entirely. Part of me says that is the healthy thing to do. And maybe I will. I like it here. DW is a good place to be and think out loud. Instagram feeds my need for visual stimulation. Maybe the time for FB is done at last.

That would be nice.
 Well, I had just typed out a whole post, and it has been eaten, so, there's that.

Beltane Ramble

May. 2nd, 2017 11:49 am
pt_tangles: (Aunt Jet)
 A few things to get out of my brain before they are lost:

• I started writing a new blog. Well, an old blog renewed. - don't know why. I just did. Maybe because I didn't want everything linked to a pseudonym that I'm not sure about keeping. Maybe when I let expire, I'll buy one for the new blog. Maybe I'll just let it be.

• Less social media time. I haven't been taking the mental health breaks that have been suggested over and over, and I'm worn out on hate and anger and incredulity. I want to spend the growing season revelling in the beauty of nature instead of sitting helpless while a foreign country's​ heartless regime destroys it and everything else that is beautiful in life. I need rest. I am going to take it. And I am not going to apologize for it.

• More books. There are hundreds of classics that I have never read. Summer is for reading. There will be reading.

• Feri. I have signed up for Vee's class this summer. Re-reading Evolutionary Witchcraft as well, and finally working through the lessons. It's powerful stuff. Stuff that's needed.

• Also, old tv shows with coffee. This is my self care. It helps me remember what it was like before the rise of the regime.

• Poetry. I'm going to add more to my life. Reading, writing, finding. 

The sun is shining. I'm going to go out and soak some up.
 Finally made a decision about my blog. I'm nixing it. I'll keep the articles and whatnot, but when the domain expires in October, I'll let the domain return to a free wordpress site. I might hide it or I might just let it all fall into obscurity. 

I returned it to public status, but with "search engines discouraged", archived the pages and blogroll, and left up a static front page with a notice to any of my followers who are interested to read it. 

I liked to think that maybe I could go back to having it open and writing my thoughts on life and paganism - my little corner of the internet. But, I really don't see any way that that could happen. At the very least, I would have to move it to a different domain, change the usernames and remove all photos of my kids. And it's a long shot even then. Probably best to just let it go.

I will miss it though. There are 8 years of growth, change, magic, and energy in those pixels. I am hoping to keep it, and find a way to download all of the content so that I can properly archive it to a pdf or something. Sort of like a memory album. We'll see how that goes.

I made a list of other stuff that needs doing in 2017. Hopefully, it will help keep me from spinning my wheels when I inevitabley get distracted and/or forget.

Thus ends an era.
 This is a thing that is happening. My plan was to wait until I had completed the custom Blythe-style doll before I started this one, but it turns out there is a learning curve to this thing, so I will be doing some study and learning and some base sculpting because I already have a sculpting medium I can use for practise.

The devotional Brigid doll will be a ball jointed doll (or bjd). The first step to creating these is a sketch or a blueprint that is 1:1 scale. I have decided that the standard mini of 44cm (or 17.5″) is going to be large enough. Thus far the dolls I have worked on have been Barbie sized (or 1/6 scale). This will be close to a 1/4 scale. As I’m not used to working with a doll that size, I will definitely be needing the blueprint to keep proportions correct.

More ...

 Funny how I said that I wouldn't use this place because it wasn't user friendly anymore, and yet here I am spending a good deal of my time reading the Friends' Page (wish I wish had more to read), and posting because I just don't really feel like Facebook is a place where I can be open. I am still using my new WP blog, but for short status updates, I just toss it out there into cyberspace, and while I do like getting the instant-ish feedback of FB, I don't really care if I am just talking to myself.

I don't like how FB censors people of colour more than others. I don't like how they will pull down a page for making fun of Nazis, but will not take action on the pages of ACTUAL self-described Nazis because somehow hate is not against their community standards, but calling out hate is. Screw that. FB can be for knitting, bitching about random #firstworldproblems, and surface level coordination. Anything more in depth or anything that might identify one as a target (for those of us who are able to pass) is best not put there. I hope that others of like mind are already creating safer spaces for themselves.

And while FB fuckery is at best a minor annoyance, I can't help but feel that the coming years will find it a lot more collusive with fascist ideologies than previously thought. At the end of the day, FB is a for profit company, and doing the right thing is very rarely the same as doing the profitable thing.
 Setting up a new blog is kind of fun. I can easily remember why I was so addicted to it. A clean slate. Everything is fresh and new. I had also forgotten how many things that need doing. Customizing templates, adjusting sharing options (to be off for the most part), and setting commenting to be moderated. "Discouraging indexing" is not the same as private, and the last thing I am interested in these days is visits from assorted paperback priestesses who figure that they are the guardians of all knowledge.

I do have a new post percolating, and I have decided that I'm going to use the About Me page as a place to set down my own manifesto for the coming years. I just need to sit down and meditate on it a while before setting fingers to keys. I will probably write it down on paper first, actually.

I am trying to be patient for my kit from the OBOD to get here. I know intellectually that it is coming from England, and it is the holiday season, but I want it NOW!!! *stomps foot*

Ah, well, I guess I have other things to get done. Holiday cards, printing photos, getting things to the mail on time. Finishing up the shopping. Yada yada. I am so very looking forward to a quiet Solstice - simple candle light, yule log on the television, reading a good book, and then a good long sleep.

That's about all I've got right now because other things are pulling at me - mostly coffee. I love seeing the sort of work that folks are setting into motion to prepare for the coming years. So many little things are providing a glimmer of hope that things won't be as bad as we fear. It is all starting to feel like faery lights right now. Especially this new turn on the Standing Rock protest. I don't trust it, as tempting as it is to feel relieved. 
 December has dawned and winter is upon us. I finally got my snow, though you could barely guess looking out the window this morning. Sometimes, I like it that way. It makes the shared experience of early winter snow special since there is no evidence in the light of a crisp clear winter morning to remember the previous day's soft mauve magic. If you weren't there to feel the flakes on your nose and eyelashes, then you missed it.

I don't think I can fully express the uplifting of spirit I felt on Wednesday night when I looked out the window to see that it was finally snowing. All the stress that had been piling up through the month of November just lifted away. I don't know what it is about the first snows. They just make the world seem so magical. That greyish pink sky, the muffled quiet that no one dare break - hot drinks and shy smiles, people huddled in front of fireplaces chatting about nothing of substance - sometimes I think that living in a country like Norway or Iceland would be like having the Sparkly Season all year.

I have been reading up on Iceland, since I hope to vacation there next year - apparently it is quite different from Canada. The description of the differences make me think that it is a country of introverts. From Jolabokaflod (Christmas Book Flood), where people buy up dozens of books to give as gifts for the tradition of spending Christmas eve reading, to the custom of not talking to people when you see that they are out with family or friends (because intruding on their time is considered rude), I think that the hermit in me could be very happy there.

In Norway an entire culture has sprung up around the procuring and burning of firewood. People spend hours searching for the right trees, chopping them down, bringing them home, and creating the firewood piles that will keep their families warm through the long winters. People use the time they spend chopping wood as a sort of meditation and exercise.


When I was a kid, I hated stacking firewood - well, less the stacking, because the puzzler in me does get a little addicted to that part - it was more the dirtying of my clothes and the slivers. Being an adult whose hands finally do fit into work gloves, and who knows how to dress for that sort of work, I can definitely see the appeal in it. Especially now that I am the proud owner of arthritic shoulders, I think that wood chopping would be a pretty good exercise for me over all. Yet another reason for "wood burning fireplace" to be on my new home wish list.

Winter makes me want to burrow under blankets with a warm cup of something tasty and just snooze and rest until spring. Unfortunately, I have errands to run, and plans to make for the last couple weeks of school, so hibernating will have to wait. Until then, I am going to fill up my cup repeatedly, and wish for more snow.


Testing again

Nov. 29th, 2016 09:06 pm
pt_tangles: (Default)
This time I'm just gonna say TEST! And be done with it.

This is a Test

Aug. 2nd, 2016 01:48 pm
pt_tangles: (Default)
 Of new post linking set up.  Gimme a shoutout on facebook if you can see this there.