Return to Phae

 Was bored today between picking the baby up out of many a puddle of tears and scouring the city for a house, so I decided to poke around and see what I could find in the way of Pagan forums.  Yeah, I'm not ready for that yet.

I'm not into the nitpicking and definitions, etc as I was before, but damn there's still an overwhelming amount of crap out there.  

I think what really prompted me to seek out forums was a tumblr post I read where a girl was asking a question about meditation.  I really wanted to answer her, since the answer was pretty simple, and would really help her next time, but I wasn't fully sure how to.  I'm still learning how Tumblr works, and I've noticed that it seems to crosspost to Facebook.  I'm going to need to make it stop doing that.

I'm not really ready to jump back into public view since I am so out of practise.  Though, it did feel pretty good to know that I haven't completely forgotten everything.

In poking around yesterday and today (mostly on MysticWicks - they are big and I can usually find an interesting topic there ... if not an interesting discussion), I stumbled across one of those "What's wrong with raising your kids Pagan?" threads.  One thing I noticed in many of the responses of people who were in the 'not raising kids Pagan' camp was the phrase, "If my children choose to share my interest, I will include them".

This is something I have seem before, but it struck me today how strange a thought that is.  I don't know about anyone else, but my religion is a hell of a lot more to me than an 'interest'.  It is a huge part of my life.  It shapes who I am and how I see and interact with the world. 

If you have found a spiritual home, why would you want to hide it from your children?  How would you spend holidays/Sabbats?  Send them to a sitter?

--Phae

I don't think I have posted anything really substantial in a while, so I thought I would set down a bit of an update before I get to the heavy thinking posts ~_^

wintersdark took his motorcycle lisence road test a couple of weeks back and passed! So, for the first time in almost 7 years, he has a valid driver's lisence. Hooray wintersdark! The road test for his class 5 is next month (the waiting times are crazy for the tests over here. On the island, you just walk into the Driver's Services and there is usually an empty spot for that day).

Also, he borrowed a helmet from his buddy for me, and now we can go riding together. I was a little nervous, having never been on a motorcycle before, but it is all kinds of crazy fun (and Harleys vibrate in *very* nice ways ~_^)! I am definitely excited about getting my own motorcycle lisence now (I have a learners). WD thinks that a nice small Kawi or a Honda would be a good starter bike for me to learn on.

A major plus for us riding motorcycles is the amount of money we will save in gas. Also, it is just a really great feeling to be out on the road ... it is something you really can't get in a car (we are planning a cross Canada trip for either next summer or the summer after). I find it meditative.

I have been reading a lot lately. I found MZB's 'Light' series, and I have finished the first two (Ghostlight and Witchlight). They are really cool books about modern magickal practitioners and New Age/Pagan stuff.

I can't really say how well the weightloss thing is going since I still don't have a scale. It is that time of the year where it is kind of too hot to cook or really eat anything heavy. This month has been unplesantly tight financially ... the combination of the two have lead us to a lot of pasta and rice dinners. I have dicovered that mac and cheese can taste really good with whole wheat bowtie pastas. I am keeping to whole grains and keeping away from junk food, so if I am not losing weight right now (due to hormonal issues), then I will be again shortly.

On the hormonal issues note, I have decided to actually do something about my PMS mood swinging. On payday, I am going to pick up some Evening Primrose oil, and see about getting my symptoms under control. What was keeping me from doing it up until now is the stubborn idea that since other people have problems MUCH worse than mine, then it must somehow be whining to complain about my own (it's dumb, I know, but it is also a very fundimental part of how I am built, and it going to take time to change).

WD's company has bought out Alive magazine, and now Alive will be working out of the same building that he works in. One of my many dreams is to actually run a print magazine of my own one day, so I have asked him to keep his eyes open for an opening there (he thinks that they will likely lose a lot of people over the next little while because Teldon is cutting a lot of the perks that Alive used to have ... like free catered organic salads and sandwiches for all the employees for lunch and free organic juice for all of the staff to drink - personally, I have no problem with paying for my own lunch if it means I can get some experience in how a magazine works).

That whole idea makes me want to work on my writing more and get a little more freelancing in. I know that there are a few Pagan print mags that pay for submissions, but I am willing to donate articles to get my name out there (and get some practise). Which, of course, leads me back to the updating of my website thing, which I really ought to get started on (before I completely forget the specifics of my book reviews).

All in all, I am enjoying the summer thus far, even if I have been kind of avoiding the forums lately. I may end up just taking a break from the places the newbies hang out. The yearning for more in depth conversations and I just get sick of talking about the same stuff over and over and over again with every new crop that comes asking the same damned quiestions.

But, with that feeling of impatience, comes also the realization that I still need to be there. What is worse than raw newbies asking the same questions again and again, is the crop of not-so-newbies who parrot answers without knowing what they are talking about (ooo, that may be a good topic for a rant).

--Phae