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'You don't have to care what anyone online thinks. They are only pixels on a screen.'
I have come across this sentiment a lot in the last few days, and I find that I am really bothered by it. Now, granted, I don't think that people should spend their lives worrying about what joe-troll on a forum thinks of them, but to denigrate everyone online to 'pixels on a screen' is just a bad idea.
Assuming that everyone you come across is nothing more than just a few disembodied words means that you don't have to care about them. At all. It means that you can easily brush aside any guilt you may feel over having a bad day and raking someone over the coals who didn't deserve it. It allows for an utter lack of civility and common courtesy in online forums because people can show the very worst sides of themselves and then hide behind the 'words on a screen' defense.
On the flip side, how can folks ever expect anyone to heed their advice when all you are to all the newbies and fluffies is 'pixels on a screen'? Wouldn't it be a giant waste of time going around trying to help folks and offer advice and friendly helping hand if they thought of you as no more than a few bits of disembodied text? Pagan forums are popular places, so they must provide some sense of community that extends beyond the face of your moniter.
The people that I have met and call friends online are *not* just words on a screen to me. They are real people with real lives, real hurts and real problems. They need *real* understanding sometimes and *real* help. They provide me with *real* support and *real* advice when I need them. Even virtual hugs can soothe after a hard day.
I realise that there is a difference between online forums and say, coffee shops. But what about 'in person' pagan meet-ups? Would anyone really fly off the handle and chew out a young teenager for asking a simple question if she were sitting right in front of you? Would you really spend an hour ranting about how she is doing it all wrong and can never call herself a Wiccan without a coven initiation? Do you think that they would tell you about the next meet-up if you did?
Despite the claims, I know that a lot of people act diferently online than they do in person. There is a sense of safety and anonymity. You can say and be whomever you want. You can see how something would sound/look and then change it before you open your mouth. No one has to know what you are really thinking or feeling if you don't want them to.
There are also shortcomings. There is no gleening a sense of sarcasm or of silliness from online text. Those shortcomings are a lot harder to overcome if people aren't willing to treat others as human beings rather than 'pixels on a screen'. It becomes a game of 'prove you deserve civility'. And gods help those who don't measure up.
--Phae
ps - as you can tell, I have been visiting gurl.com and other such places again :P
I have come across this sentiment a lot in the last few days, and I find that I am really bothered by it. Now, granted, I don't think that people should spend their lives worrying about what joe-troll on a forum thinks of them, but to denigrate everyone online to 'pixels on a screen' is just a bad idea.
Assuming that everyone you come across is nothing more than just a few disembodied words means that you don't have to care about them. At all. It means that you can easily brush aside any guilt you may feel over having a bad day and raking someone over the coals who didn't deserve it. It allows for an utter lack of civility and common courtesy in online forums because people can show the very worst sides of themselves and then hide behind the 'words on a screen' defense.
On the flip side, how can folks ever expect anyone to heed their advice when all you are to all the newbies and fluffies is 'pixels on a screen'? Wouldn't it be a giant waste of time going around trying to help folks and offer advice and friendly helping hand if they thought of you as no more than a few bits of disembodied text? Pagan forums are popular places, so they must provide some sense of community that extends beyond the face of your moniter.
The people that I have met and call friends online are *not* just words on a screen to me. They are real people with real lives, real hurts and real problems. They need *real* understanding sometimes and *real* help. They provide me with *real* support and *real* advice when I need them. Even virtual hugs can soothe after a hard day.
I realise that there is a difference between online forums and say, coffee shops. But what about 'in person' pagan meet-ups? Would anyone really fly off the handle and chew out a young teenager for asking a simple question if she were sitting right in front of you? Would you really spend an hour ranting about how she is doing it all wrong and can never call herself a Wiccan without a coven initiation? Do you think that they would tell you about the next meet-up if you did?
Despite the claims, I know that a lot of people act diferently online than they do in person. There is a sense of safety and anonymity. You can say and be whomever you want. You can see how something would sound/look and then change it before you open your mouth. No one has to know what you are really thinking or feeling if you don't want them to.
There are also shortcomings. There is no gleening a sense of sarcasm or of silliness from online text. Those shortcomings are a lot harder to overcome if people aren't willing to treat others as human beings rather than 'pixels on a screen'. It becomes a game of 'prove you deserve civility'. And gods help those who don't measure up.
--Phae
ps - as you can tell, I have been visiting gurl.com and other such places again :P
(no subject)
Date: 2006-12-12 04:13 am (UTC)It really is, and I have found that it is at the root of a lot of the problems that online communities have. Groups and communities that may have lasted for years IRL seem on an accelerated destruction course because of the lack of face to face.
IRL, if something bothers you, you can go home, fume, and by the time you see those people again, you will probably have forgotten what got you so mad in the first place. Online, there is no buffer. People can just argue and fight and they never really get a cooldown.
I also have a rant about how email has ruined the joys of handwritten letters, but I will save that one for another day ;)
--Phae