Pixels On a Screen

[pt_tangles]

'You don't have to care what anyone online thinks. They are only pixels on a screen.'

I have come across this sentiment a lot in the last few days, and I find that I am really bothered by it. Now, granted, I don't think that people should spend their lives worrying about what joe-troll on a forum thinks of them, but to denigrate everyone online to 'pixels on a screen' is just a bad idea.

Assuming that everyone you come across is nothing more than just a few disembodied words means that you don't have to care about them. At all. It means that you can easily brush aside any guilt you may feel over having a bad day and raking someone over the coals who didn't deserve it. It allows for an utter lack of civility and common courtesy in online forums because people can show the very worst sides of themselves and then hide behind the 'words on a screen' defense.

On the flip side, how can folks ever expect anyone to heed their advice when all you are to all the newbies and fluffies is 'pixels on a screen'? Wouldn't it be a giant waste of time going around trying to help folks and offer advice and friendly helping hand if they thought of you as no more than a few bits of disembodied text? Pagan forums are popular places, so they must provide some sense of community that extends beyond the face of your moniter.

The people that I have met and call friends online are *not* just words on a screen to me. They are real people with real lives, real hurts and real problems. They need *real* understanding sometimes and *real* help. They provide me with *real* support and *real* advice when I need them. Even virtual hugs can soothe after a hard day.

I realise that there is a difference between online forums and say, coffee shops. But what about 'in person' pagan meet-ups? Would anyone really fly off the handle and chew out a young teenager for asking a simple question if she were sitting right in front of you? Would you really spend an hour ranting about how she is doing it all wrong and can never call herself a Wiccan without a coven initiation? Do you think that they would tell you about the next meet-up if you did?

Despite the claims, I know that a lot of people act diferently online than they do in person. There is a sense of safety and anonymity. You can say and be whomever you want. You can see how something would sound/look and then change it before you open your mouth. No one has to know what you are really thinking or feeling if you don't want them to.

There are also shortcomings. There is no gleening a sense of sarcasm or of silliness from online text. Those shortcomings are a lot harder to overcome if people aren't willing to treat others as human beings rather than 'pixels on a screen'. It becomes a game of 'prove you deserve civility'. And gods help those who don't measure up.

--Phae

ps - as you can tell, I have been visiting gurl.com and other such places again :P

Comments

[thtrelady.livejournal.com]

I've never understood that "pixels on the screen" thinking. It's just license for someone to be utterly thoughtless and rude and not worry about how badly they hurt someone.

And I agree - I have people I really care about who will never be part of my off-line life.

[mariadkins.livejournal.com]

I have come across this sentiment a lot in the last few days

I've found that I've run into that mentality more and more in the last two or three years. I'm bothered by it. Too, I've never really understood it. I mean, do people really think that there's nobody on the receiving end of their words and pictures? I don't get it.

to denigrate everyone online to 'pixels on a screen' is just a bad idea.

I've heard it as that and, "The Internet is nothing but just words."

ps - BlueMoon is physically at http://bythemoon.org/bluemoon now - although I think the LunaJoy link is still mirroring.

[pt_tangles]

I've found that I've run into that mentality more and more in the last two or three years.

I know that I have. I know a few people who preach it like gospel and I have seen how it gets tangled into the worldview of a lot of young Pagans and newbies.

ps - BlueMoon is physically at http://bythemoon.org/bluemoon now

Cool. I have bookmarked the new link ;)

--Phae

[mariadkins.livejournal.com]

I know a few people who preach it like gospel

Same here. :eye roll:

[pt_tangles]

It's just license for someone to be utterly thoughtless and rude and not worry about how badly they hurt someone.

It really is, and I have found that it is at the root of a lot of the problems that online communities have. Groups and communities that may have lasted for years IRL seem on an accelerated destruction course because of the lack of face to face.

IRL, if something bothers you, you can go home, fume, and by the time you see those people again, you will probably have forgotten what got you so mad in the first place. Online, there is no buffer. People can just argue and fight and they never really get a cooldown.

I also have a rant about how email has ruined the joys of handwritten letters, but I will save that one for another day ;)

--Phae

[dbmyrrha.livejournal.com]

I think one has to balance things out, and use discernment (just like in any relationship.) I have online-only friends that I have known for a decade, and for whom I would go out of my way to help (I sent a friend some money once via paypal when she was down and out, for example.)

Other people mean nothing to me. They do not see me as a person, talk to me like they know me well enough to insult me, make snap judgments about me, assume an intimacy I have never invited, etc. Those people I write off as "words on a screen." Otherwise I can be hurt by people who really should have no influence over me.

[pt_tangles]

Thing is, there are a lot of people like that in real life too. Unfortunately, you can't relegate those folks to words on a screen (I work retail, so I have seen some pretty crazy stuff).

Some people are just jerks. I don't have to make them non-people to refuse to allow them to have influence over me. KWIM?

--Phae

[dbmyrrha.livejournal.com]

I see your point.

[curefreak.livejournal.com]

Simply put I never see people as words on a screen. Even strangers to me are seen people expressing their views. Sure, they may word things stronger on-line, but they still are people with things to say, regardless of the medium.

[pt_tangles]

I sometimes think that if everyone thought that way then the web would be a more pleasant place to be.

--Phae