![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
It's a rainy Beltane. It smells glorious outside. I have a baby napping in my lap, the front door is open to let the fresh air in, and I feel a little pulled out of time right now.
I've noticed it growing over the last few weeks. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm back living at home where I grew up. I think that part of it is that now that it's finally raining here, I am getting all those smells that remind me of growing up on the island. Part of it also is that this is the first time that I have been purposely jobless since I was 18. It's a new and old reality for me.
Not that I don't love being a SAHM, I really do. There are so many things that I haven't had time to do in years. I can cook proper meals without the feeling of being rushed. I am planning to go back to sewing my own clothes (after a trip to the fabric store to pick up a few essentials), I am back relearning all my old Craft techniques, I have an outside garden/yard for the first time since I left home ... DW says he finally feels like a grown up being in our own house after so many apartments. I feel a little like I'm taking care of the house waiting for my mom to come home.
There are still a few Beltane-y things that I want to get done today - get my seed paper started, get my apple trees into separate pots before they strangle each other, get my little mini maypole made, get the house cleansing ingredients together for this afternoon, etc. First though, I'm going to take this quiet moment as an opportunity to meditate. Then maybe a tarot spread. I have a feeling there is something that I need to see.
I've noticed it growing over the last few weeks. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm back living at home where I grew up. I think that part of it is that now that it's finally raining here, I am getting all those smells that remind me of growing up on the island. Part of it also is that this is the first time that I have been purposely jobless since I was 18. It's a new and old reality for me.
Not that I don't love being a SAHM, I really do. There are so many things that I haven't had time to do in years. I can cook proper meals without the feeling of being rushed. I am planning to go back to sewing my own clothes (after a trip to the fabric store to pick up a few essentials), I am back relearning all my old Craft techniques, I have an outside garden/yard for the first time since I left home ... DW says he finally feels like a grown up being in our own house after so many apartments. I feel a little like I'm taking care of the house waiting for my mom to come home.
There are still a few Beltane-y things that I want to get done today - get my seed paper started, get my apple trees into separate pots before they strangle each other, get my little mini maypole made, get the house cleansing ingredients together for this afternoon, etc. First though, I'm going to take this quiet moment as an opportunity to meditate. Then maybe a tarot spread. I have a feeling there is something that I need to see.
Tags:
