Family Politics

[pt_tangles]

Is there no escape? Bad enough that my own family treats me like I have the plague, but now, I am becoming something of a scapegoat for my fiancé's family as well. This all comes from the fact that the MIL wants us to come over for a Christmas dinner/gathering. Now, I would love to go, but it is at least a 3-4 hour trip (and a ferry ride), plus a $100 not including gas. This is coming on the heels of a $400 brake job, which has already tapped our Christmas budget, and not only do we just not have the money, but Wintersdark works weekdays, and I haven't had a weekend off since the last time I was unemployed. The SIL offered to pay our way, but that doesn't solve the time issues.

I had thought that though it sucked, it was understood that this really wasn't going to work for us. Then I get an IM from the MIL saying that she really did understand how I didn't want to come and see them, that she was sad, but she understood. WTF? 'Didn't want to'? When did this happen? Last night, comes a call from the SIL to check and see if we are going, and my fiancé says that he has to check with me to get my schedule. Why is this sort of thing suddenly being put on me?

Now, by some miracle, I DO have a Sunday off, so we CAN go ... whether we will is still up in the air, but at least it won't be my fault ... until the next time. Some days I feel like Satan ... I am the one who everyone blames their problems on. UGH!

This rant brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood black scape she-at (or go-ep ... I haven't decided yet).

--Phae

Comments

[pantherathecat.livejournal.com]

Well we are to the point my MIL starts crying on the phone that we don' want to see her.

Point is, we don't. Heh.

But I've gotten over the guilt issue. Under no circumstances is hubby to say "I'll have to check with Panthy". The proper statement is "I'll check, but I'm not sure our schedules allow it"

You may wish to discuss with your fiance that whether he means to or not, making you the "bad guy" scapegoat is not acceptable. I personally have told hubby that it is fine because I dislike my in-laws anyway, so that is a moot point.

Good luck with Christmas. We aren't going visiting either. And I refuse to feel any guilt or remorse. Don't fall for the guilt trip, that is just rude. You don't have to give them a ding dang reason you're not going. "We won't be able to make it this year, I'm really sorry" should suffice for anyone. Any further questions is prying.

Good luck. Hugs

Panthy

[pt_tangles]

Thanks :o) I did kind of melt down at him when I heard him tell his sister that he would have to check with me first ... I told him not to put all of this crap off on me and if he wanted to go, just fucking go and leave me out of it. That didn't go over well ... I am thinking that I will wait until we get back to bring it up again (give me some time to cool down on the issue).

--Phae